Paramont can suck my ass through a bendy straw . . .

What the fuck is up with people? Paramount drops their production deal with Tom Cruise because of . . .

"As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal," Redstone was quoted as saying in the Wall Street Journal report e-mailed to reporters. "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

Not that I can even be considered a big Tom Cruise fan, his movies are hit or miss and miss and miss to me, but shit, what has the guy done wrong? He fell in love, got excited about it, and professed a belief in his faith? That's unacceptable behavior? His last movie only made $500 million, so now he's a pariah at the box office? Jesus Fucking Christ.

Kid beauty pagents are F'd up . . .

Saw "Little Miss Sunshine" tonight . . . great movie. I was ready to be disappointed like I was with "Sideways", but this movie killed. Cracked my ass up over and over again. Probably the best movie I've seen at the theater all year. Definitely has Oscar potential.

Kind of ironic that just as this movie is expanding, a movie that involves trying getting a girl to a kiddie beauty pagent, that the guy who supposedly killed that Ramsey girl get's taken into custody. Those pagents are F'd up, yo, and it's no surprise that they draw F'd up people into their sphere, because the actual parents are F'd up enough to begin with.

But forget that, go see Little Miss Sunshine. Not only will you see a great flick, but your moola will help encourage Hollywood to keep making movies like this. There's no doubt that Sunshine got made because of the success of Sideways and Napoleon Dynamite.

Funny the way things work . . .

So this is the way things have gone for me recently . . .

A year ago, if you'd've asked me if I'd take a sales job, I'da said no way. Here I am now excited as all get out to start a new job within my company as a sales rep. The money will be insane, and it's actually going to be fun.

A year ago, if you'd've asked me if I was interested in roommates, I'da said no way. I've lived 13 years in a place by myself, and I've LOVED having my own place. But now I NEED to get away from my ex-girlfriend, and I want to buy a house next year. So I'm doing the "sharing a house thing" with a couple guys to save cash, and guess what? The two dudes I've met are cool as can be, and I actually see them ending up lifelong friends, so I'm totally stoked to move in with them next week.

Life's about trying new things, right? Seems that after nearly half a year of suck-i-tude, things are finally coming back my way.

So much music, so little time . . .

Recent pick-ups (the first four are must gets):


Ron Sexsmith - Cobblestone Runway
Funkadelic - Maggot Brain
Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
Infadels - We Are Not The Infadels

Islands - Return to the Seas
Old 97's - Early Tracks
Superchunk - No Pocky For Kitty
Beirut - Gulag Orkestar
Gomez - How We Operate
The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers
Placebo - Meds
Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers - Four Unlike Before EP
Pearl Jam - Avocado
Elf Power - Back To The Web

Am I the only one who finds the Saw movies life affirming?

Really.

I enjoy a horror movie as much as the next sic disturbed person, but I'd held off on seeing the Saw movies. I'm all for reckless senseless killing . . . it's all cheap thrills, but I'm not down with torture, and that's what I thought the Saw movies were about.

Surprise Surprise to me, that wasn't the case with the Saw movies. They were about choices. They're about somebody, twisted though he may be, putting people in a position where they have to choose how much life and the people around them mean to themselves.

You're a lowlife and you've lived like a piece of shit . . . are you willing to dig a key from behind your own eye to stay alive!?!

You're sneaking around behind your wife and kid . . . does it take being in a position where you have to cut your foot off to save their lives to get you to realize how much they actually mean to you!?!

We all have choices to make in life, and lots of times we choose not to make a choice, but as the great RUSH lyric goes, "thou you chose not to decide, you still have made a choice". Here's a movie where people are forced into a life or death situation to make a choice . . . it's not random horror . . . it's not random limb hacking . . . it's an exploration in What Are We Willing To Do To Live . . . and yeah, I find that life affirming.

They don't like Mexicans, but love cheap hedge trimming . . .

I love that the Republicans are incharge while this whole immagration thing blows up. Those poor bastards have to be mentally and morally torn. Here's a group of people that hates anybody who's not a white male (even their white women hate themselves for not being white males). The last thing they want is to be surrounded by little brown people, BUT . . . . . . . damn they like cheap labor! Where else are they gonna find people who will clean their floors and toilets who'll only ask for $2 an hour + the opportunity to live in Walmart supply closets?

It's like, "My girlfriend drives me nuts 23 hours of the day, BUT . . . she gives me sex almost every night and . . . is it even possible to find another girl like that who's not crazy?" Decisions deFUCKINGcisions. Damn, what's a boy to do!?!

I also love that some of the RePubes are pushing to round up and deport all 12 MILLION illegals in this country. I mean, One, there's probably double that number. But two, and there are some big question they need to cram into their mellons . . .

- If you couldn't stop them from getting in the country, what makes you think you can round them up and ship them all across the border?

- Even if you round them all up, where are you going to ship them to? How can you prove which Central or South American country they came from? It's not like you can just push them all into Mexico. And you think they're gonna cooperate and tell you what country they're from when they can SIT in our jail system and get a roof over their head and three square meals a day for a few months?

- Even if you can round them all up AND are able to ship them off to whatever country they're from, what's to stop them from coming right back across the border? You're gonna build a fucking fence across a thousand miles of border and ship enough troops out there to patrol it? You have hundreds of thousands of troops in the Middle East and Korea, the military is so depleted that the state of Arizona (who has ZERO coast line by the way) in desperation looking to ask the COAST GUARD to help patrol it's border with Mexico . . . Who is going to patrol your 1000 miles of fence?

Lots of questions, and I'm sure the RePubes will delay delay delay a final decision until after the elections.

Silent Hill! Silent Hill! Silent Hill!

Yeah, so I'm going to take a moment to get some early buzz going about Silent Hill . . .

I haven't seen it, and I refuse to watch previews (I want to go into it fresh, so when those bastards run commercials or trailers I have to close my eyes and cover my ears . . . trust me, movies you KNOW you're going to see are better if you go in fresh . . . Jurassic Park was nothing like I expected it to be, so I think I was even more blown away while watching it than I would have been had I been unfresh), so I don't know if it'll be good or not. Another leap of faith for one day!?! Yep, I can't wait for it's release on April 21st.

The game pissed me off and annoyed me (why you ask? Because it pisses me off when early on in a game you explore say a deadend alley and find nothing, so shortly afterwards when you need to find a key you don't bother to look in that fucking alley because you already searched it, so after two fucking hours of roaming every fucking corner of the city you fucking give up and check an online tip guide and it tells you the key is in that fucking deadend alley that you'd already fucking been in, but at some undefined "magical" fucking point you crossed a line that made a key and all kinds of shit appear in that fucking alley! Well, fuck me in the goat ass. At least give us some reason why that shit magically appeared there other than bad game programming. Plus, it was nigh on impossible to swing your weapon with any accuracy . . . don't get me started), but so did the Resident Evil games, and I love those movies. I can't wait for the next. On the contrary, I loved the first Tomb Raider game, and those movies sucked some serious ass, so maybe it makes sense . . .

I think here's the deal . . . . . I love the feel of the Resident Evil games, I could tell there was a deep story, and Silent Hill was the same . . . I loved what they were going for, but actually playing the game was a pain in the ass. So, seeing a faithful movie adaptation is like getting the feel and enjoyment of the game without the frustration of playing it. Get it?

Yeah, so Silent Hill, I can't wait. Plus, it's got my boy Boromir in it (what's his real name . . . let me check IMDB.com . . . Sean Bean), and that guy is such an underrated actor . . . can't wait. See you all at the theater on the 21st!

You might as well honk behind a deaf person . . .

So, me and the ex-girlfriend are on better terms. Though, we've been on better terms and a week later she goes schitzo again, but let's have some faith.

Anyways, she was complaining tonight about guys in their 20's coming on to her. Stopped just short of calling it a plague. Whether she's trying to mess with my head or not, I don't know, and I don't care. She's an attractive woman in her early 40's and I'm in my early 30's, so it doesn't seem odd to me that that kind of thing would happen.

She divorced 20 years ago, and she decided that the way to stop being hit on was to start wearing her old wedding ring. She figured that would be a sign to younger guys to leave her alone, but sadly I had to inform her that that wouldn't work.

See, us younger guys don't notice that shit. 80% of my workplace is women, and I can honestly say I've never noticed any of them wearing rings. Most of them are married, so I'm sure they must be . . . we just don't care. I see an attractive female at the store or wherever, the LAST place I'm looking is her "ring finger". Part of that is that we don't even know which finger is the magical "ring finger". I've been told I'm sure, but that knowledge goes in one ear and out my ass.

She said she was talking to a male her age at work who is a fundamentalist christian, and he said wearing the ring would work . . . lol, I asked her if she's felt vibes from any fundamentalist christians. Sha, right.

The reality is that there's only one type of person that will notice a woman wearing a wedding ring, and that's another woman. So basically the only base she's covered is to keep lesbians from hitting on her.

She asked me where this "Young guys hitting on older women" thing started. It'd be easy to give credit to the movie "The Graduate", but I don't. I place the credit firmly with "American Pie". That movie singlehandedly (pun intended) made the term MILF part of the vernacular of every male between the ages of 15 and 34. And within a year of American Pie coming out, the internet was suddenly flooded with MILF porn sites. Trust me, I was a one-handed keyboard jockey getting the research myself ;)